Am I Being Emotionally Abused?

Question by duhkidd: Am I being Emotionally Abused?
I am 16 years old. me, my older brother, and my younger brother have been living with my grandmother and her husband for about ten years. My mother sent us from Omaha, Nebraska to live with her in Atlanta, Georgia. My mother was on drugs and shoplifting and she was on her way to prison. My grandmother often reminds us how we would not have had experienced traveling if we lived in Omaha, Nebraska with any of our other relatives. She used to tell us that if we didn’t want to live with her then she would send us to a foster home and give all our games away. When my mother came down to visit us recently she didn’t want us to see her, so we snuck out the house while she was at work and my mom picked us up and we spent time with her at my aunt’s house. When my grandmother found out she began to call us ungrateful and explained that she is not going to buy us anything unless we absolutely need it. My grandmother often tells me that I am weird because I don’t say much around her and she tells me that I have a negative vibe and I better smile. She always yell and is never willing to listen to what I have to say? Am I being emotionally abused? Please Help Me!

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Answer by Bob L

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4 Responses to Am I Being Emotionally Abused?

  • Confessions of a shopaholic says:

    I don’t think ur being emotionally abused but ur grandmother is not being fair to you. She needs to stop acting likes the world revolves around her and that she just one of the 1 billion people on the planet

  • Princess says:

    Hi there, well I think that either your grandmother is over protective or she doesn’t know how to handle the situation. Talk to her and tell her that you appreciate what she is doing for you but that regardless if your mom was on drugs that you believe she deserves another chance and you and your brothers want to talk to her. That doesnt mean you are going to live with her. Explain that it would be great if your mom could spend time with you guys at her house under her supervision if she feels more confortable. If you seem that she is not changing you might want to speak to a counselor. Dont be afraid of being send into a foster home because Child Protective Services will try to put you to live with a family member if possible. Is your mom in rehab? Your mother can also try and speak to someone and see you guys can live together again but she must be willing to go into counseling and so are you and your brothers. In a way I do think she is brain washing. Now you are 16 years old, and you are allowed to work. It must be best if you can get a job so you can be able and get your own stuff for you and your brothers so you dont have to ask your grandma.

  • Charlie says:

    Emotional abuse is a tricky issue; it’s not “black and white.” Emotional abuse includes consistent, regular psychological assault in the form of insults, cruel statements, and manipulation. Emotional abuse makes the victim feel worthless and helpless.

    It sounds like your grandmother might not be the kindest person in the world to you, but probably not abusive. Yelling and making occasional insensitive comments isn’t necessarily emotional abuse. No parent or grandparent is perfect, and raising kids is very difficult. My mom told me how ungrateful I was all the time when I was a teenager (and, at the time, she was right!). Threatening to stop buying kids extra things is also a pretty common discipline technique– usually not abusive.

    I don’t think you’re being abused, but you’re probably in a tough situation… Being a teenager is extremely difficult, and it often feels like no one understands and no one is listening to what you have to say. The good news is, you’ll be a young adult soon, and you’ll be on your way to college or your own apartment. Enjoy the good parts of being young, but keep looking forward to the future. The teen years don’t last forever (thankfully!).

  • Andrew G says:

    Well, if what she is doing effecting you then yes, most likely this may be steamed from her early years from her parents, or she may be ashamed of what what your Mother did, and may expect you of that. Keep faith and make your way through this mess.
    When I was 14 I went thru a time that ended by about a month after I turned 15, I hope no one that young has to go through what I did, I was very mentally abused, not by my parents, but by the school faculty. I wont describe the time, for its not something I should never say on a community site, but my advice and will always be keep your faith.

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